i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
