i jhust puked up my retainher.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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