yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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