i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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