I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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