I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
