those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so let's talk penis.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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