I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
