matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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