The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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