Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
