Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
