their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
