are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
