So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
did i walk over a car last night?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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