He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
