wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My dick has a subreddit
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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