I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize