you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
