I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
