I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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