the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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