I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
