All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
from now on my penis is your penis
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
