that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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