I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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