he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
