Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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