If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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