What did we do last night that was yellow?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
