Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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