I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
