Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
