I think my vagina is haunted
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
