His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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