i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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