fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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