at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
