Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
