lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
