i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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