Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
