Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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