Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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