"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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