Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
