I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
