im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
