Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
