I wish my penis had an off switch
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize