I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
