Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
