Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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