the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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