hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
