How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
