i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
