Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
