Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize