I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
