I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
