Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i need some magic done to my vagina
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
