yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize