You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
