they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
