I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
