And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
