Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
