So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
