I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
