He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
