You can't motorboat a personality
I don't think brook has ever known best
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
