buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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