i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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